What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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