Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
