i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
