I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
