I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
