it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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