And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
