are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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