Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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