Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
