I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
