North Korea, Best Korea!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
