it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
