paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
