and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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