Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
