never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
