My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
