I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
