When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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