Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
