What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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