I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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