What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
