Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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