Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
