Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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