Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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