those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
