O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
