My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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