Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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