My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
