he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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