Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
