you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
