Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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