im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Randomize
