I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
