I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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