Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
