If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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