So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
