At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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