it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
