Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
