Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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