Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
