Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
