U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
