tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
