Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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